I love my friends dearly. In a lot of ways they are my family that I get to choose in this lifetime. The friends I’m closest with don’t judge me, they are my cheerleaders and are always there to listen to me. My friends are also very respectful that I’m busy so they’re constantly apologizing when they need to rely on me. That disappoints me because I always hope my relationships to be a two-way street.
Friends are there to help each other through meltdowns. I’m talking about those meltdowns where a good friend asks you how things are going and you start to tell them what’s been going on in your life and suddenly you’re rambling and the stuff that’s just been in your head comes tumbling out and next thing you know you’re in tears and feeling like a complete disaster. Phew! Yes, those kind of meltdowns.
To answer your question, no, I did not have a major meltdown recently but in a way my body was telling me that I was close to a crisis point. I started suffering from vertigo and it didn’t go away for several days. When I finally went for medical help it was determined that it wasn’t a NMO related symptom but rather a sign of serious dehydration and exhaustion. (I’m still suffering from the vertigo but it’s slowly improving.)
Although I don’t enjoy seeing my friends go through difficult times, truthfully it does make me feel less alone knowing that others have meltdowns, exhaustion and stressed out lives. A few excerpts of the lives of my friends:
· One friend is at a crisis point because she’s unhappy with her job and constantly feels discouraged that she’s not landing roles that she’s clearly overqualified for
· Another friend has been taking care of her ailing and elderly father, putting strain on her marriage and her now non-existent career
· Yet another is madly in love with what I think is her soul mate (if such a thing exists) but he lives in another town and neither wants to relocate to be together
· And a good friend is struggling with the decision to grow her family (she’s always wanted to raise a big family) but her compromising health makes this difficult
In my mind I’d deal with each of these situations differently because it’s easier to have an opinion from the outside but that’s not what my friends are asking for. As I’m sure they would deal with my life problems differently too what we’re asking of each other is a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen and just support. I always think to those dark first days of NMO when I was scared, unable to walk and completely confused in a hospital bed – how so many of my friends were just there over the phone, in person pushing my wheelchair and still slinging mud at me like before. Without my friends, without our meltdowns, this would be such a lonely world. So the next time you feel you’re over reacting or things just start spilling out, just embrace it and know your friends love you as much as you do.