To say that this summer is not going smoothly, would be an understatement. On June 25th, I got a call that no one ever wants to get: my husband had suffered a major heart attack at work. He was rushed first to a nearby hospital and then transferred by ambulance, with lights flashing and sirens screaming to our local trauma hospital for emergency surgery that would save his life.
Two weeks later, his complained of seeing “spider legs” in his left eye. An urgent appointment with an eye surgeon reveled his retina had torn and he had a sizeable hemorrhage, rendering him blind in the left eye. He underwent another emergency surgery, this time to save his eyesight right there in the office while I held his hand. Two weeks passed and the hemorrhage had not even begun to clear, so he had a second surgery on Friday to remove the blood so his eye can start to heal.
All of this has been traumatic and stressful on so many levels. Usually, I am able to take things in stride, but this was a heck of alot to deal with all at once, especially since I’ve had two rounds of IV steroids since the beginning of June and have not been feeling well myself.
On one particularly bad day, I called my best friend and had a bit of a meltdown. (I blame the steroids!) Sometimes it’s okay to not be okay and it’s a blessing to have someone in my life who really understands that. Later that day, I was tooling around online and came across a shirt that perfectly illustrated how I was feeling at that moment. My best friend saw it and ordered it for me, saying I had earned it.
This is it:
I love it. Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes it runs you over. Sometimes you just have to take a break and say NOPE. It’s a good reminder that sometimes coping with the hard stuff means having moments like this and giving yourself permission to feel how you’re feeling. I am working on this. Meanwhile, I will wear this shirt and keep taking things one day at a time. It’s the little things that help me cope.